Heather Fein

Permission Slip

Heather Fein

Well here we are adulthood… that middle point in life you thought you wanted oh so bad, and yet, what the actual fuck happened? Like someone lied to me about this “growing up” shit…. They told me it was fun, that there were prizes to be had, that rankings matter, that there are grown-ups out here showing us what to do…. These fuckers LIED TO ME!!!!

But then again, if you’re reading this, they probably lied to you too.

You know what else they lied about? Well, ok, maybe a few things they’ve lied about:

  1. That there are rules. Nope, there aren’t any. There are laws, there are guidelines, there are niceties and edquite, but rules? Nope… none. The only rules are the ones that YOU have formulated in your own mind about what you think is supposed to be important. Go rewatch The Matrix if you don’t believe me. There’s a great scene where Neo is first learning JuJitSu…

  2. Someone is handing out permission slips and gold stars. This couldn’t be further from the truth. There’s no such thing as “permission slips” in grown up land, and gold stars? You’re fucking insane if you think those puppies are real. The only prizes are the ones that matter to you. Those quiet moments with a favorite book, tipping an extra $50 for excellent service, extra snuggles with a loved one… those are the gold stars. Those are the rewarding moments in life. Seek more of those…

  3. You can’t say “fuck”. Y’all remember the first time you dropped a curse word in front of your mom and you thought the world was going to end? That moment when you wanted with everything inch of your soul to take that sound and swallow it back down…. And yet, here we are, decades later, still on planet Earth. Sure, mom may have given some sort of punishment (or not) as a way to preserve her sense of normal, but we all had that one friend who’s house sounded more like a tavern than a PTA meeting… nothing happened to them either. Speak with confidence in the words you choose… and stop filtering yourself...

Look… what it comes down to is making up your own rules, your own code of ethics, making your own definitions about what matters and what doesn’t. The sooner we stop waiting for the hall monitor to check our hallpass in life… the sooner we are truly free to be ourselves.

This is as much to me as it is to you, oh faithful reader. This is the nudge to go do the things you say you plan to do, because I’m not waiting around anymore…. Are you?